Hi, my name is Emelia. I am 15 years old. I am fat. Yes, fat. No, im not one of those skinny pretty peepols who claim themselves to be fat. i am just fat. No, i am not fishing for compliments because i don't intend to get any.

Am i trying to lose weight? Yeah. Succeeding? No. Well, obviously. Everyday i look at myself in the mirror, and all i see is a large chunk of meat standing on two gigantic sticks of salami. Heh.

I don't take criticism easily. It sucks, yeah. But i can't help myself. I was okay with it a long time ago. But the more critisism i get, the less wanted i feel. And that sucks, for me. I guess? Hmmm.

I love my friends :) (and of course my family lah. No need to state the obvious right?) Im really grateful to have such awesome friends around me. Sometimes, i feel like, i'm not good enough for them. Have you ever felt like that? Lol, i dunno, but i feel like that all the time. So i always have this drive to show them that i am a good friend. Does it work? Lol idek. I hope it does. Though it kinda hurts when, you try to talk to that certain person, but she/he doesn't even seem to enjoy your presence.

Yeah, i'm sensitive. Yeah, i'm congek. Yeah, i'm fat. Yeah, i have no confidence. Etc. etc. I try to look at the brighter side of everything, but, it somehow fades everytime i fail at something. And currently, i don't even see anything bright at all. Lol.

I made this blog so i could show to people that i could actually do something. Lol. Yeah, that's why, i'm pretty proud of it. So if you think it sucks, stfu. I post up pictures of myself up here so i can feel better about myself. More confidence? Well, maybe.

So, yeah. This is pretty much half of what i wanna say. Keeping all this stuff inside sucks. Like really. It's not fun to break in to tears all of a sudden and try to hide it. lol. I doubt people would read the whole thing but, yeah. This is my blog, and this is how i feel. Please dont give me any bullshit about how i have no self confidence or i think too much or that i'm looking for attention. Cuz i'm not. Please, dont. I can't express my feelings anywhere else.

I thought i was better these past few months, but actually, i'm just holding back my tears. The pain is still inside. Haha. Sorry lah for this emotional crap. But, yeah. Honestly, i don't even know whether i wanna be here anymore. Lol, but i just can't bear to leave my family and friends, because i love them so muchh. Haha.

I shall stop now. Haha. K, g'bye :) -end of emotional bitch post-



Sincerely,
That fat girl from camp. Yeah. OUCH DOH. :)